My Dad's Dead

I had a funky dream last night/this morning. I dreamed that my dad came down for a visit, sort of like in "The Christmas Carol," and thought he would take me on a tour.

One of the stops, that I can remember, was he took me to the year when he was at his best, his prime. I could see him and his friends playing music. He had a friend that was playing some really good sounding guitar. His pals were Filipino and I was like, "Oh gosh . . . really Dad?" I wonder if I was embarassed. It was like watching a movie because I couldn't interact with any of the people in front of me, but I could talk to him. His friends were all chillin' in the living room in a house we used to live in when I was really, really small--a baby, couldn't even walk. Everyone was having a good time. The colors were totally seventies. I don't know how to explain it . . . very orangy-red and brown, like old seventies photos.

Another stop I remember is so vague, but will bother mentioning it. It was dark and all I knew was that I could see a van driving really fast and his friends were drinking and driving. It was very hard to see what was going on. I could see barely an image of a white van. In the background were streetlights. The van took off and I don't know where it went.

That's pretty much it. I guess if I remember anything more, I'll let you know. This dream does remind me of a past dream I had when I was around fourteen or fifteen. That dream sort of went like this:

I remember feeling really sad in my dream and feeling lost. And I know that I didn't feel good about myself. I felt alone. I didn't know it, but I guess my dad was walking next to me and as soon as I figured that out, he started to drift away into the sky. The clouds ate him up, but not in a bad way, sort of maybe like he got absorbed. The entire time as he's being pulled and absorbed into the sky he reached out his right hand. He told me I could call him any time and he gave me his phone number. Then he completely faded away. I woke up and called that number quick. Back then we had a black cordless Sony phone and I had it in my room. The phone rang and rang and then someone on the other end picked up, but no one said anything. I listened hard and all I could hear was the sound of a clock ticking. I hung up that phone so fast. I was so spooked. I called again, but this time it was the good ol' "You have reached a number that has been disconnected" voice. It was weird.

Okay, I'm finished!